“She’s so shy”: A parent’s reply

*My daughter can clam up when we are someplace new or if an adult has high expectations that she will laugh with them upon their first interaction and their passive interest. Honestly, I really don’t need everyone to love my kid, but I’m always amazed at how many people view being shy as something negative. She’s three and even if she were older, I don’t know that this would ever be a concern for me, so long as she feels comfortable, safe, and loved… The concern others have about her being shy is their hangup. I reflect on this in the poem below. It reads a little biting perhaps, especially when you attach a mother’s tone, and that’s not my intent. Instead, I just think it’s craziness how young the judgements start. Thanks for reading…


“She’s so shy.”

She’s observant and she’s focused.

And wild at home with those she trusts and loves.


“Yes, but she’s so shy.”

She’s self-entertaining and deliberating

And she’s smart enough to see past adult, fake concerns.


“But why is she so shy?” 

She’s happy without chaos.

She’s balanced and feels safe at home.

She likes her downtime, what can I say.


“Are you worried about her social skills?”

No, I’m too busy being happy that she’s kind

Considerate, fun and well-behaved.


Perhaps the problem is not my Mallory.

Have you considered that you are not as funny as you think?

Has it crossed your mind to know, to pause, to breath, to self-reflect…

That the world is not about you.


Being quiet is not a sin and not a disappointment in my mind.

She can be as shy as she wants to.

Maybe she just doesn’t like you.

She’s pretty perceptive you know.

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